


Why'd you only love me when you're high?

by Alice_writes_sins



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Egobang - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 06:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9807764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_writes_sins/pseuds/Alice_writes_sins
Summary: "Did Dan really not remember?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic.. I hope you like it

"Look at that guy, he looks stoned as fuck" Arin jokes at the strange looking character on the screen. "weed did just get legalized" Dan answers. He'd been thinking about his smoking days a lot lately, with the celebration and apprehension of it's recent legalization being thrown in his face everywhere he went. He'd never really smoke again though, would he? The duo had just finished their seventh episode for the day and Arin lands on the grump couch with an audible plop after turning off the recording. Dan was just close enough to him that he could feel his heart beat begin to quicken. It took a little while, but Arin accepted his feelings for his best friend, and he wanted to tell him oh-so badly. Tell him how much he admired every ounce of his being how he wanted to hold him foreve- Arin's internal thoughts were cut short by Dan tapping his knee and remarking "You know man, with weed being legal now, I've thought about smoking again." This caught Arin by surprise. "but, it's been so long since you quit, that's long in the past now." "what's the harm?" Dan offers, stretching his arms behind his head allowing a bit of his belly to show that Arin thinks is the cutest. "it doesn't hurt you, we're already stupid anyway, and it would help me calm down before live shows and~" Dan says more, Arin assumes, but he is no longer listening. Did he just say we? Surely there's no way Dan thinks he could get Arin to do drugs that was his thing, but could he say no to _Dan?_ "Fuck it!" Dan exclaims, once again breaking Arin out of his thoughts. "I think I'm gonna buy some weed tomorrow, what'd you say big cat? Maybe we'll smoke Saturday? "I.." Arin doesn't know what to say. Dan has started to use pet names outside of the show a lot lately. He knows it's just how Dan is but _shit_. "you know me" Arin begins nervously. "I'd never smoke" "Come on man" Dan whines. "you'll have fun and besides," Dan leans in so close that his lips are ghosting Arin's ears sending shock waves up Arin's spine as he whispers "I'd just _love_ to see you high baby girl." With that Arin is gone. He nods quickly at Dan and elicits a small chuckle from the man. Arin trails behind Dan as they leave the office and tries not to let his friends see his excitement and nervousness as they say goodbye to everyone at the office before walking to Dan's car. The ride to Arin's house is quiet with a slight electricity in the air. "See you Saturday." Dan says with a wink, reminding Arin that this is real and happening as he drives away. Arin lays in bed that night with thoughts scattered and racing through his head. Will everybody at work care if they find out? Will Arin spill his feelings about Dan when he's high? What does it even feel like to be high!? Arin sighs softly and tucks his head under the covers, quickly falling into a blissful sleep.

The next morning Arin enters the grump room to find Dan already perched on his side of the couch, mindlessly sipping Perrier and checking his e-mails. Arin takes a moment to admire his beautiful state, before announcing his presence. "You ready buddy?" Arin flops onto the couch making a little bit of Dan's beverage spill out and getting him to look up from his laptop screen "ready when you are man, oh and by the way, there is now weed in casa de sexbang" He has a sly grin as he looks with his eyes transfixed on Arin's. "I can't believe we are actually doing this" "I'm proud of you Ar," He says as Arin slowly drags himself to turn on the recording. "I wouldn't say that." Arin answers as he resumes his comfortable position on the couch. "welcome back to goobly gobbles" Arin hopes he can be on his game for these episodes and not as extremely distracted as his mind is telling him to be. Time passes and they eventually have half of their session done. Arin tries his best to focus but all he can think of is tomorrow night. He bets it'll just be a mess, considering he has no idea what he's doing. They finish up their videos, plan a little for their next commercial and head home. They decide to meet at Dan's house at 7 tomorrow, luckily Barry is leaving in the morning to go see his family, he won't be back for a few days, should be long enough to erase the evidence, Dan presumes. That night Arin can barely sleep, his mind is too busy coming up with scenarios of what tomorrow night will bring.

Arin decides he wants to look his best, even though the event will no doubt leave them sloppy, he puts on a nice shirt and tucks his hair into a low bun. A rebellious blonde strand makes it's way to the side of his face, but he doesn't brush it away. When he arrives at Dan's place, he already has everything laid out in the living room. "Glad you could make it." he teases as Arin awkwardly finds a place on his couch to sit. Dan has a blanket splayed on the floor, with the bong, the infamous weed itself, and other tools Arin doesn't understand the use of. "Get comfortable, big cat" Dan purrs as he pats the floor next to him and the nervous man on the couch obeys. Dan goes ahead and prepares the substance before presenting a full bong and lighter to Arin. "would you like to do the honors?" Arin laughs "you think I fucking know how to do this?" Arin flicks the lighter and tries to figure out exactly where to put the flame. His heart jumps as Dan grabs his hand, leading him to the right spot. Great, it's lit, but Arin still doesn't understand how you'd smoke from the thing. Dan lifts the contraption to his lips and inhales, laying back on his elbows and letting out a way too pleasured moan as he exhales the foggy smoke. Arin takes the bong and inhales a pathetic amount that makes Dan laugh. He snatches it away and takes a long hit before gripping Arin's face and exhaling the smoke into his mouth, lips painfully close to his own. Arin is shocked, but obeys and inhales as much of the smoke as he can. Dan gets a kick out of it as Arin coughs and closes one eye. "that's it baby. You can take it." "wanna take a big boy hit now?" Arin feels brave, Dan is already high enough that he might not even react, "I don't know, but I do know that I want your lips touching mine this time" Arin is shaking as the words leave his mouth. Dan only smirks in response and crawls into Arin's lap. He watches the sloppy majesty above him. Somehow a silly Dan sat on his lap is the most beautiful and goddamn sexy thing he has ever seen. Dan exhales the smoke past Arin's lips again, but this time pressing their lips together and teasing the smallest bit of tongue. Arin feels like he is on fire. "fuck dude.." Arin smirks as he grabs the bong from Dan and inhales as much as he can. He wants, so desperately to impress him. His mind starts to cloud and he hasn't even gotten the chance to process that Dan Avidan fucking kissed him. High and horny as he might be, he kissed him. Arin looks up at the man on top of him with watery eyes and this time doesn't cough, he even, kind of enjoyed it that time. "Atta girl." Dan responds as he inhales for himself and lulls his head slightly as he exhales. Arin feels the older man move on top of him, was he _grinding_ on his leg? None of this felt real. In fact, something felt wrong, he never thought Dan would be into him, he seemed like the biggest hetero on the block, but Arin was certainly not complaining. Dan hums as he slowly grinds on Arin who wonders if anyone is gonna talk about what's fucking happening right now. Arin shies it away and decides to just smoke more and lose his mind in this incredible moment. This time, Arin reaches his head up to exhale smoke past Dan's lips, making the man smile and kiss him again, sloppy and needy. Arin is basically on his back now. Dan's movements like a cat in the darkness above him. Dan flicks his body down so that his head is in line with Arin's crotch. His senses may be dulled but Arin is still on fire. His heart is racing as Dan shoots an alluring glance up at him. Arin can feel himself blushing madly and takes another hit to try to calm himself before nodding towards Dan. Slowly Dan dips his hand below Arin's waistband and slowly, teasingly, removes his sweatpants. He kisses Arin's growing boner through his boxers making him squeak out a tiny moan. Dan slowly sits up and grabs the bong. he _likes_ to see him suffer at this point. After exhaling and making sure to moan in a way that gets Arin excited, he slowly grips his boxers in between his teeth and pulls them down. Arin's dick springs forward and he imagines this is what pure bliss feels like. He's high, and is about to get sucked off by the love of his life. Dan licks lightly at Arin's tip bringing him spiraling back to reality. "mmm" is all he can muster. Dan slowly licks down Arin's length before taking all of him in his mouth making him gasp and moan in response. "fuck..Dan..I've never" He can't finish his thought before Dan is already bobbing his head up and down. "I've never gotten a blowjob this good before" Dan chuckles softly around Arin sending tingles shooting up his entire body. He pulls Dan's hair as they both moan in pure bliss. How was Dan so good at this? Dan starts to increase his speed and Arin knows he won't last much longer "Dan... I'm close.." Dan pulls off with a pop and immediately replaces his mouth with his hand as he slowly strokes Arin, while kissing and nipping slightly at his thighs. Arin is soon spilling over Dan's hand and he doesn't seem to mind at all. He kisses Arin and inhales a seemingly much needed amount of smoke before passing it back to Arin. Rightfully so, Arin must've been exhausted after this because next thing he knew he had awoken in Dan's bed.

Arin felt like he had slept for years. His head hurt, and it took a long time to be able to process what happened. Was last night really real? How does Dan feel about him? How did he end up on a bed, weren't they on the living room floor? Arin manages to drag himself to the living room and finds a completely clean house. You'd never know what happened if it weren't for the faint weed smell that lingered in the air. In the kitchen he finds a clothed and composed Dan. "Morning, there's some pancakes if you want some." Arin sees the pan on the stove and the kitchen is annoyingly neat. Why is Dan acting so normal?? Arin can't bring himself to eat and silently sits down at the table next to Dan. "you okay?" he inquires "you tell me." "what'd do you mean?" "are we not gonna talk about last night?" "oh sure, did you like smoking? felt good after so many years." "Don't you remember what.. happened last night?" Arin feels the anger build, there's no way he could remember and Dan doesn't did he really smoke that much less than he did? "I don't know man, it hit me pretty hard since I was away from it for so long, I remember next to nothing" Arin doesn't know what to do, does he just come out with it? "well, you fucking sucked me off." Arin didn't mean to sound as blunt as he did. "I. what?" "shows how much it meant if you don't remember." "Arin woah." He's too ashamed to look at Dan. He doesn't even fully understand why he's ashamed. "sorry Ar, I guess I have always been a horny stoner." he laughs in a way that could be condescending or nervous. "So, what.. does it mean" "nothing man. You know I'm straight." Arin doesn't think he realizes how much he is ripping him apart right now. He feels his body shaking and he wants to tell him how he feels but he bolts. He almost makes it to the door before he feels Dan's slender hand on his wrist. "talk to me Ar, please. I'm confused too alright." Arin's glare softens as he looks at Dan's worried eyes and furrowed brow. His lips are turned down in a way that suggests he really cares. Arin wishes he could kiss them as easy as last night. But he just pulls his wrist away and stands against the door. "I love you Dan. I've had feelings for you for a long time, forgive me for thinking you liked me when you fucking sucked my dick." "Arin.. please..wait" Arin has already flung open the front door. He feels tears welling up behind his eyes and he hates them. He sees a look of pain in Dan's eyes as he walks away and he is _glad._ When Arin gets home he crawls into his bed and just sits. Thinks about what the fuck has happened since he was last here. His phone is lighting up with messages from Ross, but all he can see is his wallpaper with him and Dan, only making it all hurt more. He makes himself a cup of tea and attempts to relax. Trying not to think about how he'll have to see Dan at work tomorrow. He knows he was too hard on him, if he really didn't know what he did than that's all there is.. right?

Dan tries his hardest to remember anything from last night. He's scared. So scared. Did he really give Arin a blowjob? how could he do something like _that_   without remembering. And if he had, what the hell did that even mean. How could he be attracted to a man, he wasn't. He's always been into girls. The only way dan could make any sense of it is if he knew everything that happened. every detail. But unfortunately, the one with the info pretty much hates his guts right now, and he knows it. Arin was so upset, and it hurt him so much. All he could do was try. Try to understand. He stares at his phone and musters the courage to call Arin. He answers, Dan can tell he's cooled off a bit, but he sounds so. hurt. "hi man, im sorry. to call. But, I- can I see you? I need to know everything that happened last night, maybe I could remember something." "fine" Arin sounds defeated. "but you're coming to me." "fair enough."

When Arin opens the door Dan greets him with a quick hug, and Arin is flooded by his scent. He smells like home. But that home is not welcoming right now. They silently sit down on Arin's couch and he begins the tale of what happened. "it was torturous" Arin laughs lightly "you were just so sexy when you were high." Arin thinks he saw a small blush  form on the mans cheeks. "anyway, I'm sure you remember the beginning, but then when I only took small pussy hits you pulled me in.. and exhaled the smoke into my mouth." Dan was listening intently, but his mind seemed vacant, for one reason or another he had been pretty out of it. "i got brave and asked you to kiss me and you did." "then we smoked for a little while more and you were really giggly and.. sexy... and you took my pants off and, you know that part." the nervous tension was staggering. "after that i fell asleep and woke up the next morning in your bed, that's as much as I know." "Actually," Dan began. "I can help you out on that last part, I found you half naked on the floor and i didn't want you to be any more sore than you were already gonna be, and man you were heavy." Arin chuckled softly and smiled. Dan cared about him so much, that was the bottom line. "nothing though?" Arin asked. "no, sorry." "It's ok. Dan. I, was a little hard on you. Not your fault if you genuinely didn't remember." Dan studied his face. His soft skin and tired eyes. He wanted to know, he had to, for both their sakes, if he really had feelings for him. He didn't know why he had to ask himself, shouldn't he just know? Without thinking, Dan leaps forward and kisses Arin, as passionately as he can. Arin wants to enjoy it, but he knows what he is trying to do. Arin pushes back, resting his hand on his chest and trying to resist tracing small circles against the soft fabric. "Don't. Don't try to make yourself fall for me out of pity. Your feelings are yours and yours alone and  I can't make you change." "Arin I just want to understand. These feelings are here i just.. I don't know." "just.. go home, Dan. Early morning tomorrow right?" he tries to smile as he pats Dan's chest and stands up, leading Dan to the door. He gives Arin a reassuring look as he leaves, and he knows they're both wondering how they're gonna pretend like everything is fine and not fucked up tomorrow.

The next day, Dan and Arin find themselves to be the only ones in the office. Everyone was either away or at home working on personal projects. It was both a blessing and a curse. Neither wanted to explain the weirdness between them, but neither wanted to be completely alone with each other either. The air seemed thick as the two sat on the couch ready to start recording. "let's.. we can do this." Dan gave a weak smile as they began. They were gonna be okay for the lovelies. They deserved it. They just prayed that Kevin found some of these episodes at least semi usable. After the recording they just talked. And it felt good, normal, but in Dan's mind he couldn't let it go. That he somehow. Some way. Loved Arin and he didn't know how to handle it. "do you want to finish the weed I bought? hate to blow through it alone." "Poor choice of words." Arin stares back with a dead look, he wanted though, he longed for the feeling of feeling relaxed and free, he wanted to be taken away from this painful reality. Into something that didn't matter. "im in. When." "now?" "fine" They head back to Dan's place but he is genuinely worried about Arin, but he also, genuinely wants to see what the fucks gonna happen.

There they were in a much too familiar setup, and this time Arin spared no time before taking a long hit and exhaling with an angry sigh. Dan was sure but terrified in his plan at the same time. He lifted the bong to his mouth, but hoped dan didn't realize has wasn't inhaling the smoke, he would be contact high sure, but maybe he would still be sober enough to know what would happen. What he truly felt. And he didn't need Arin to tell him it was pity. It felt wrong. Using the state Arin was putting himself into, but he didn't stop. When Arin was high enough it was time. Dan turned on the charm and tried to act as silly as he could. He kissed Arin and this time he let him, if not for the certainly deliberate hurtful hair tugs. They brought their lips together again and Dan's hands wandered up Arin's soft back. Kissing him was like a separate drug. It felt right and wrong at the same time, Dan felt, happy. It scared him and deep inside he hated it but, he was happy. Arin would make him happy. "Fuck you, Dan" Arin said slaving over the bong. "I love you but fuck you." Dan smiled and lept on top of Arin kissing his lips and trailing down to his neck. His stomach was fluttering and he couldn't believe what he was doing. "Bite me." Arin ordered. "I deserve pain." That was a tone Dan could have fun with. "You don't deserve pain, but I will mark what's mine." What was Dan saying right now. He felt every ounce of passion fall behind his words and he wished this could happen when Arin was sober, and when he wouldn't kick the shit out of Dan for trying to stay that way. Dan's heart beat fast as he sucked Arin's neck and started to remove his shirt. With it's removal Arin shoved the older man back and ordered he remove the article too. He ran his hands down Arin's chest and his stomach he was learning to love so much. He licked his nipple and a moan from Arin sent tingles to his crotch and the tent beginning to form. Can't really argue with that can you? Dan started to grind against Arin desperate for friction and Arin tugged at his belt urging him to remove it. Despite Arin's anger they were both in shock of what they were doing, and they loved it. Dan removed both their pants making the grinding feel _so_ good. They were both hard and small moans and curses escaped their lips. "I don't know if i have lube-" "no." Arin said between smoke causing coughs. "fuck me. raw. it'll hurt. you fucker." "Arin i'm not gonna hurt you like that." For some reason this set Arin off and he slapped dan accross the face. "Oh yeah? you never minded hurting me before." There was no way Dan was going to be gentle now. "Funny how you think I knew what I was doing." He tore off the remaining fabric between them and shoved his hands around Arin's neck, not caring about the marks he would leave "stretch yourself" Dan purrs. Arin sets to work and his moans drive Dan insane. He is completely lost in Arin and is high on him alone. When Arin is ready Dan lines up and with another slap from Arin thrusts as hard as he can. Arin whimpers like he deserves too. He deserves pain. Dan felt like he did too. He loved him. And he knew Arin would love him too but if he hated him right now then it's all fair play. He wanted him to **hurt**. Dan moans as he begins to move and grips Arin's arms behind his back, making him growl. He thrusts in again and a symphony of moans cuts through the foggy smoky air. "Fuck you. Using me like your whore." Arin whines. Dan chuckles darkly and increases his thrusts reeling from how fucking _good_ he feels right now. Something about Arin is so sexy, even in these circumstances, and he believes full well that he sucked his dick. and he liked it too. Dan wasn't even realizing how relentlessly he was pounding into Arin. "Dann." he whimpered and Dan panted as he thrusted. He adjusted his position to hit a new angle and Arin cried out in pleasure and tugged Dan's hair whipping his head violently forward. Dan grabbed Arin's dick and began to stroke in time with his thrusts. He loved how much power he had over the man. He knew Arin was angry, but he was excited if this was the side he would bring out of Dan when they fucked. God. he couldn't believe how much he loved fucking him, watching him writhe. Dan whimpered as he grew closer but he didn't stop. His thrusts were erratic and their moans were so in sync and somehow it was the most beautiful sound either had ever heard. Arin cried out as he spilled over dans hand and he forced him to suck it off his fingers as he continued to barrel into him. Arin was going to be so sore but Dan didn't give a shit. He felt so good and he never wanted to stop. He wanted Arin forever. "Fuck. fuck. Arin. You're so good." Dans head fell back as a final thrust sent him spilling into Arin and he was gonna be okay with it whether he wanted to be or not. He pulled out and collapsed next to Arin. They panted for a while and when Arin regained his composure enough he picked up the bong with shaky hands and inhaled only to exhale slowly into Dan's mouth. Dan wasn't quick enough to turn his head to try and avoid the smoke that Arin realized what he was doing. "Have you been trying to stay sober this entire fucking time." "Arin I'm sorry.." "you shut the fuck up." without thinking Arin punches Dan's chest full force and drags himself into his bedroom, slamming the door. Dan doesn't wanna move. Right now he. can't. He curls up in the darkness. alone. wondering how the hell he fucked up so bad. How long had Arin's feelings been building up and tearing him apart for him to be so angry? He really thought Dan didn't really love him and he just wanted to be alone. But at the same time he wanted Dan there, even if we hated the sight of him. There was nothing Dan could do but wait. Wait for Arin to cool down. Wait for his mind to shut up and let him sleep.

The next morning Dan awakes and the memories of the previous night come flooding back. He realizes he is still on the floor. naked. with a pain in his chest and an Arin still behind closed doors. Dan manages to get up and regain his clothing but he doesn't know what to do next. He can't leave him and go home, but does he want him here? He decides to just curl up on the couch and wish for the best. He is awoken some time later by a spoon previously used to stir tea being thrown at him. He turns over and sees Arin sitting at the table with a few mugs of tea. "come. we need to talk." That's one thing for sure. "hi." "hey" Arin looks sad. Genuinely destroyed. Dan wants to cry but they need to talk rationally about this. "how did we fuck up so bad huh?" Dan stares down at his herbal tea like it's going to give him an answer. "Dan how do you feel about me." "I love you. I want you to tell me why you were so angry. And i want you to understand my actions were the only way I could respond to that. to get through to you. To show you it wasn't fucking pity. But I love you. And I want to be with you. And I want us to be ok." "Dan I am so sorry. I guess, when you love someone and want someone for so long and you can't have them and they don't want you. You think they're there with you but they're just so far away." Arin isn't looking at him. He's staring at a point past him. The hurt twinkling in his eyes. "it takes a toll on you." "how long." "2 years." "Arin."  "I know." "Last night. Last night was the worst night of my life.." Dan looks up and tries to hide a laugh in his breaking voice. "and it was the best night of my life. And being with you was amazing. And you were fucked up but I still believed in you." Arin is close to tears. Dan is already there. "what now." "we mend the pieces." "we throw out the bong" And that was the first time they laughed in sincerity in a long time. "are you mine?" "forever, Arin Hanson." This time their kiss is sweet, and Arin falls into Dan's arms and he is his home. It's a wooden chair but it's the most comfortable place in the universe. It's Dan Avidan.

 


End file.
